REVEALED!

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REVEALED! 〰️

Edinburgh Fringe 2024 is here! And so is our annual features series. This year, it’s all about REVELATIONS: the gossip, the mysteries, the spies and the moles. Because everyone knows you can’t keep a secret at Edinburgh Fringe…

Jin Hao Li is making his Edinburgh Fringe debut with Swimming in a Submarine. He’s on the hunt for Nessie and this photo essay takes us along on his journey.

By Jin Hao Li

I was 11 when I saw her on Television.

Growing up, MTV put me through puberty. Every music video was hot, my favourites were Mariah Carey’s. In the “Touch My Body” cinematic universe, the dorky dude got the girl with no effort, it was insane. I would watch that and then do algebra.

Sometimes I’d set an alarm for 5AM, so I could watch them alone. One morning, I turned on the TV and was greeted by the stoic voice of the History Channel, and that was when I saw her.

We’ve all seen this right? The hero shot of the Loch Ness Monster - a dark neck emerging from the water. She was so tranquil, why “monster”? There was nothing violent about her. “Monster” feels like a mischaracterisation by the paparazzi, the real monsters (R.I.P Diana).

I wanted to find her and tell her she’s not a monster - she’s just a girl. I wish someone had found me watching those music videos and said you’re not a monster, you’re just a boy..

If I were Nessie, I’d go somewhere people don’t expect, like Edinburgh, and blend in with the tourists. I booked a one-way ticket, hoping to find her and assuage some sort of nostalgia. Below are a series of interviews I did with Edinburgh locals, to see if anyone has spotted her.

Two American exchange students in a kebab shop at midnight. I didn’t take pictures of them, so here’s a photo of the Potterrow Underpass.

Potterow Underpass (dementors might pull up)

Jin: What do you guys know about the Loch Ness Monster?

R: It’s a myth they made up for tourism.

B: I know the photos are fake and the Scottish government made millions from it.

(I hesitate to say the Scottish government made billions from American students; it does not mean education is fake)

Jin: Is there a mythical creature you believe in?

B&R: Sasquatch.

Jin: Can people only believe in their own regional folklore, i.e. only someone Scottish can find Nessie?

R: No, I think Scottish people are over it.

Jin: What do you think Sasquatch represents for the American consciousness?

B: There are some southern states where you can get a hunting licence for Sasquatch.

The following morning I walked to the Meadows™ and found two gardeners.

Sarah & Toni are excellent gardeners, others should quit

Jin: Do you think I’ll ever find Nessie?

Toni: No.

Jin: How come?

Toni: It’s very unlikely that this exists.

Sarah: O! I don’t agree! I don’t agree, Toni!

Toni: I’m cynical as ever :P

Sarah: I think it’s VERY likely to exist because all sorts of things exist of which we have no notion .

Toni: Yessss, that’s true.

Sarah: It’s the search that’s important. It’s the same with gardening, it’s the working that’s important, it’s the doing.

Jin: This is beautiful.

Sarah: It’s never about the result, which is always a bit hit or miss. But you will probably find something, if you search for Nessie.

Jin: Growing up, was she a part of your life?

Toni: She was a fun part.

Jin: Yet you don’t think she’s real?

Toni: She might be a simplification of something we don’t understand.

Jin: wow… what do you think that is?

Toni: Oh… I don’t know.

Jin: Do you think my efforts are futile?

Sarah: Well you’re certainly in the wrong place! But because of the rain, there’s a little Loch over at Bruntsfield Lane, maybe you’ll find her there.

Walking in that direction, I meet Mabel from Central Scotland.

Mabel will soon take over the ice cream van, as the gods willed it

Jin: Have you always worked in Ice Cream?

Mabel: I’ve not, I’ve only worked here for three weeks now.

Jin: How was that?

Mabel: It’s going well, I’m going to be learning to drive the van soon.

Jin: Do you think you’ll ever take over?

Mabel: Eventually yea, they’re hard… to drive! They’re very heavy. Going round a roundabout you can’t just fly by them, you have to slow right down. So I feel like a lot of drivers get annoyed that we go very slow…. But it’s good. And it’s worth it, it’s a nice day and it’s good to see everyone happy with their ice creams. (see example below)

Jin: Do you think it’s more valuable when a child is happy than when an adult is?

Mabel: Yea… it cheers them right up. We had someone earlier, he fell and he hurt his knee and he got an ice cream and it didn’t matter anymore that he hurt his knee.

I never found Nessie in the end, but her elusiveness is a big part of who she is. I suspect the moment I lay eyes on her, she would cease to exist, and I don’t want that, so I’ll keep looking.