Abby Wambaugh: How to hypnotise your friends
REVEALED!
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REVEALED! 〰️
Images: Marie Hald
Edinburgh Fringe 2024 is here! And so is our annual features series. This year, it’s all about REVELATIONS: the gossip, the mysteries, the spies and the moles. Because everyone knows you can’t keep a secret at Edinburgh Fringe…
Abby Wambaugh is at Edinburgh Fringe with her debut show The First 3 Minutes of 17 Shows. Here, she shares the expertise she gained in how to hypnotise your nearest and dearest.
By Abby Wambaugh
I taught myself how to hypnotise my friends after Googling it once and you can too!
What is Hypnosis?
Swinging watch, spinning swirls in your eyes, bak bak bak-ing like a chicken, what are you even asking me?
Is Hypnosis real?
Do you believe in God? Do you believe in Karma? Do you believe in Hypnosis? Do you believe in sexism? Do you believe that phones are a “gift” from higher intelligent aliens to trick us into documenting the human experience in minute and exquisite detail “by choice”? Are tables really furniture or just more floor on stilts?
You have to make your own decisions in this world, and these are some of them.
How do I get my friend to enter Hypnosis?
Speak in a voice that is relaxed and confident. I find a French accent works best.
Remind them that All is Well, you know in like a broad, solar system way.
Tell them that every time you snap your fingers they will go Deeper Deeper Deeper, but if you have sweaty hands or not a very loud snap, you can just stomp your foot on the ground to make it louder.
If they still seem tense, try telling them it’s nicer to be around their brother because he isn’t always worried about money.
What if they still won’t relax?
I got this tip from Tessa (7, but almost 8) who takes a different approach entirely.
Tessa told me: Slap them in the face until they go unconscious, then ask how many elephants stacked on top of each other it would take to get to the top of the Eiffel Tower. If they get it right, it worked.
I said, “How many elephants is that?” She said, “When you know you know.”
Start with Babies.
Easiest people to hypnotise, but they hypnotise back.
Who else can you Hypnotize?
The truth is (UNFORTUNATELY!!!) that you can’t hypnotise anyone without their willingness to be hypnotised (ANARCHISTS). Just try to hypnotise someone who doesn’t like to be told what to do and they will stomp to their room and slam the door and when you try to go in to apologise, trust me, there’s going to be a bucket of syrup above the door and marbles on the floor that will make you roll into pile of feathers. WHAT A MESS! On you, but also in their room. So really, everybody pays the price for not being hypnotised.
If you want to Hypnotise without consent, try Hypnosis’ sister technique, gaslighting.
Then what can you use Hypnosis for?
Hypnosis is a pep talk for your friend’s subconscious. Find out what they want to be true about themselves, and then lie to them and say it already is. The goal is for them to create a new reality where it really is true, and then document the new reality for the aliens.
What about me?
Hypnosis is for your friend!!!! You can’t hypnotise someone into something they don’t want to think. But I always say, as long as it’s benign, go ahead and throw something in there just for you. When your friend is in a hypnotised state, it’s ok to catch them up on what happened with House Targaryen so you can get right into Season 2 of House of Dragons, together.
And most importantly…
HAVE FUN!!!
Abby Wambaugh: The First 3 Minutes of 17 Shows runs at Pleasance Courtyard (Attic), from Jul 31st-Aug 26th (except 12th), 7:15pm. Tickets here
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